Tool Fanatic T-Shirts

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"He loves his leaf blower."

Award Winning Gardener

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

CLEAR!

A crab with a utility knife claw

The Hammer

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

DIY horror.

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

'My axe is all dull! -- Have you been using it to shave your legs again?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

Beavers worshipping a chainsaw.

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.