Tool Fanatic Pillows

"Your resume is impressive, Phillips, but I just don't think you'd be a good fit for us."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

I never know what to get mom for Christmas. It's simple. Free shipping. I always choose something cool that she wouldn't get for herself. Oooo

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Award Winning Gardener

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"He loves his leaf blower."

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

'Where do I put the batteries?'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

The Hammer

A crab with a utility knife claw

CLEAR!

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

DIY horror.

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

'My axe is all dull! -- Have you been using it to shave your legs again?'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.