Tool Enthusiast Pillows

'Where ya goin'?' 'Collectin' nuts.'

'Don't tell me how to work safely! I've been at this job for over five years!'

"Wow. I've never gotten a bouquet of power tools before."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'It's an old work injury.'

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

I have a feeling that boy only wants one thing from our daughter.

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Goofy builder.

Strimmer (weed whacker) starts to lift off.

'Not tonight, dear I have a headache.'

'Obviously the natives here are sophisticated tool makers.'

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

Electric Shock!

'Borrow my fire extinguisher Gee, I don't know, Ted,,, You still haven't returned the weed-whacker I lent you'

'Oh great. They're metric tools, and I've got standard nuts and bolts.'

'How long have been a plumber?'

'I know I said you are using the wrong mortar, but!...'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Fred soon loses his enthusiasm for his battery operated power drill.'

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

'Do not be alarmed... this is only a drill!'

Bill really wishes Dave would break down and buy an extension ladder

'She gave me the tools and said 'Enjoy yourself.' Then, when I started building stuff, she left me.'

'Completely Useless Tools: An inflatable hammer.'

Scaffolder

'Do you know what doesn't get the publicity they deserve? Plumbobs.'

"So, what are you trying to tell me, Gladys, that I won't be getting the new circular saw I asked for?"

"Ok, now which one if the big saw?"

Single contractor in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your tool chest.

'Chainsaw Championships.'

"I'm going to do a spot of gardening. Have you seen my ear protectors?"

"So that's how you fixed things before there was Duct tape."