Tool Enthusiast Pillows

'Where ya goin'?' 'Collectin' nuts.'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

I have a feeling that boy only wants one thing from our daughter.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

Strimmer (weed whacker) starts to lift off.

Goofy builder.

'It's an old work injury.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

'Oh great. They're metric tools, and I've got standard nuts and bolts.'

'Obviously the natives here are sophisticated tool makers.'

Electric Shock!

'Borrow my fire extinguisher Gee, I don't know, Ted,,, You still haven't returned the weed-whacker I lent you'

'How long have been a plumber?'

Bill really wishes Dave would break down and buy an extension ladder

'Do not be alarmed... this is only a drill!'

'I know I said you are using the wrong mortar, but!...'

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

'Fred soon loses his enthusiasm for his battery operated power drill.'

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

Bolt: ' OHHHH, MAN oh MAN.' / A Male Bolt checking out the Centrefold of a Nut Magazine

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

"So, what are you trying to tell me, Gladys, that I won't be getting the new circular saw I asked for?"

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'She gave me the tools and said 'Enjoy yourself.' Then, when I started building stuff, she left me.'

"Ok, now which one if the big saw?"

Single contractor in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your tool chest.

'Completely Useless Tools: An inflatable hammer.'

'Do you know what doesn't get the publicity they deserve? Plumbobs.'

"So that's how you fixed things before there was Duct tape."

"I'm going to do a spot of gardening. Have you seen my ear protectors?"

Scaffolder

"And, little by little, over the next ten minutes, he was able to dig his way to freedom."

"Hand me my claw hammer."