Tool Tinkerers T-Shirts

Golfing utility belt.

'I know it's the thought that counts - what were you thinking?'

"He's never been very good with his hands."

DIY store with a first aid department

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."

Handy Randy

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

'Which end do the nails come out of?'

Swiss Army Hook.

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

'Ideas that never got off the drawing board.'

It's Oog's latest invention — the 'thumb-hitter.'

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

'Dad, you definitely asked for a drill-less cord, not a cordless drill.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Drool Marks

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Tool Box

Painting the Ceiling

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."