Toolbox Tinkerer T-Shirts

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

'No breakfast until you're finished making your bed, Joey.'

Hammer User Manual

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'I hit my thumb with a hammer.' - 'Well, it wouldn't happen if you hold the hammer with both hands.'

"What a rip-off."

Carpenter

"It's good he has only simple tools. He usually gives up before he does much damage."

"You've given me quite a turn. . . !"

Do it yourself

'Wow! I'm trying to fix my glasses with contact solution instead of super glue!'

Guide to Carpentry Fish

"Okay guys you have your assignments. Let's get cracking!"

"Measure with a micrometer. Mark with chalk. Cut with an axe."

Mechanic watch 'The lug Bolt' on TV

Nail and Hammer

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

The Hobby Store

Rocking horse

Tool Box

Painting the Ceiling

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Early cyborg.