Tool Maker T-Shirts

"Actually, I made it to get him out of the cave."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

Painting the Ceiling

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"He loves his leaf blower."

Sale! Weed Whackers

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

Congratulations on your retirement!

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."