Tool Burners T-Shirts

'Fred insists on giving something up for Lent!'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Painting the Ceiling

Tool Box

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Sale! Weed Whackers

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

Congratulations on your retirement!

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

The Hammer

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Waiting for retirement.

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

Three different categories of lawnmower.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'