Tongue-in-cheek Trainers Gifts

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

Do it yourself books.

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

The Three Doctors.

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"He's busy cross-training. He's drinking with his left hand."

"All our vegetables are well done. It's a return to the old values."

"Don’t you dare talk to your father in all caps young lady!"

"And when did this over-aggressive behavior begin to manifest itself?"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways and likes to be paid in small unmarked bills"

'Get with it, Ralph! Trophies are meaningless, when everyone gets one!'

R.I.P Seth Grimthorp

Strike Action Man.

'I'm not sure about all the rules, but when you fence with girls you're allowed to try to poke them in the boobs.'

"I have no luck with women. Am I racist for blaming someone who wasn't born here?"

'Then it's agreed... a tube of Poligrip per hole!'

'The good news is that she gave me her phone number - The bad news is that the call will cost me twelve dollars a minute.'

"It's nearly as valuable as what we'll inherit when your mother dies - that's how much I love you."

"It must take a while for vitals to shut down, she's still texting."