Toll Dodger Pillows

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

Road Construction.

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

We'll pass on the entrees...

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

'He escaped!'

Why men hate shopping.

'You always have an excuse when it's your turn to buy the drinks.'

George Washington Toll Plaza

"It's weird... My boss has a freaky way of seeing through my excuses. It's like a sick sense."

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

Dozens of parking tickets under windscreen wipers. Woman passenger says: 'It might be time to give the windscreen a wipe.'

"I never dreamed the substantial early withdrawal penalty was the fund itself."

"Yoo-hoo! My husband gets the senior-citizen discount! Yoo-hoo, Officer, yoo-hoo!"

'I thought it was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'

"I can't wait that long."

"Maybe we should reschedule. It's bark-to-bark up here and Waze says it's forty minutes to the lazy river."

"Do you know how many followers I've got?"

Detour 50c.

Dartford Crossing, Pay in Advance for your Inevitable Queue.

"Tell me about online banking again. I'm not good at technology, but it's got to be less stressful than this."

I thought it would be a good idea if we reflected on the past year...here are your photo radar tickets.

Sorry out of numbers.

'How do you feel about same-sex marriages?'

Excess Baggage: Kenny beats the airlines' hated add-on fee system... for the moment.

'I thought this was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'

Cash / EZ-Pass / Wages of Sin.

TROLL BOOTH

'If you don't want to know the scores please exercise your distrust of the BBC now.'