Tolkien Buff Pillows

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Knight Golfing

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

Missing You.

Get on with it!

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Knights of the Square Table.

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

Planner at work.

'Your iceberg salad, Captain!'

Scheduel.

A dragon has eaten my knight, please help.

Knight Vision

"Dangerous? Nah, I could count on one hand the number of times he's bitten me."

'NASA, Asteroid Watch Dept'

"We both agreed that for a while she'd slay the dragons and I'd look after the castle."

'The Yarl of Orkney is not big on mediation.'

Dog

There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our little kingdom has ever known.