Toilet Paper Fan Pillows

"I suppose the combover works, but now I can't see your eyes."

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

In, out, shake it all about.

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

Tortoise polishing his shell

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

Do what you can to flatten the curve

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"No not the puppy please"

Creation of Adam

"Hi, Honey, I went to that new wholesale store...and, boy, did I get a deal on toilet paper!"

'It's more like a very good used you.'

Flush Direct

"I can't come out, Mary is having one of her marathon cries."

A swan is swimming opposite an origami swan in a pond.

'It was the only white thing I had.'

'You're so soft today. Did you switch to 2-ply?'

"Oh, thank God!"

Toilet paper calendar

"I figured my family could use a padded cell. Actually, I just buy toilet paper in bulk."

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

'It just hasn't been my day.'

"Here, try this on." "But mom, everyone's wearing three ply. I'll be a freak."

They do so look forward to summer holidays.

'Procter and Gamble? I dunno, sounds risky - what if everyone stops using toilet paper?'

"My neighbor's house got TPed, and doubled in value."

'The ref likes a good clean fight!'

Toilet Paper Hill

"Oh boy! Have you guys picked the wrong time for first contact!"

Folded up newspaper called The Origami Times.