Toe-touch Tester Gifts

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

Big Burgers.

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

Ballet shoes balancing on a telephone wire

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

"Ooops....I guess this one failed."

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

"This artificial flavouring doesn't taste like artificial flavouring."

"Are you looking for 'drinks and nibbles' beer, 'I don't really drink beer' beer, or good old fashioned 'gidday mate' beer?"

I'm a seat warmer test dummy.

"Ok mummy, perhaps this isn't so crummy!"

'You look bored, sir - How about the Chef's Surprise?'