Toddler Whisperers Gifts

"But the legacy I'd truly like to leave is creating music that future generations will use to sedate overstimulated toddlers."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

Mother Nature

"He's such a fussy eater."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

'I'm not too sure about that.'

A Tit for Tat.

Children's education

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"