Toddler Whisperer Gifts

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"All right. Time to grow up."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Tantrum

"Try verbalizing it."

"I mean, he does have a point."

"I understand you're famous for your tantrums."

Right little madam.

Terrible Twos Bullying

"How far can you throw a tantrum?"

"What are you in for?"

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

Mother Nature

"He's such a fussy eater."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

'I'm not too sure about that.'