Tobacco Culture Gifts

'Whew! I need to lay off the peacepipe!'

Wine Lady

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Writers without borders.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

'Secondhand smoke.'

Robert Mitchum

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"Compliments of the chef - Our finest blend of 'Maui Wowie' dated 1972."

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

"Does it still count as a party if you didn't get p*ssed and throw up in the ficus plant?"

"I am the Genie of the Bong! I will grant you... um... I am the Genie of the Bong!"

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

Kangaroo with a smoking baby.

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'They say pot makes you less motivated, but I've already been to Taco Bell eleven times today.'

'I hope you kept the receipt.'

"We don't have a battle cry to get the employees revved up, but it's amazing how productive people can be when you get them doughnuts every Wednesday."

"Who needs therapists?!"

Exempli Gratia.

Might Versus Right.

Happy Hour at Harry's

Junior's switch to electronic chewing tobacco was short-lived.

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

"The usual, Bernie."

Trouble at med school - "Gosh, it's already my third day and I'm still sober."

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

"It keeps you awake because it takes 5 hours to finish drinking it."

'. . . Sorry guys, we've stopped serving - have you come far?'

"I think Fred is doing more than growing exotic plants!"

Parking Meters at Tables in a Cafe