Tobacco Culture Gifts

'Whew! I need to lay off the peacepipe!'

Wine Lady

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Writers without borders.

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

'Secondhand smoke.'

"Compliments of the chef - Our finest blend of 'Maui Wowie' dated 1972."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"I am the Genie of the Bong! I will grant you... um... I am the Genie of the Bong!"

'Evil Olive'- An evil olive has taken out his co-workers with cocktail swords.

Kangaroo with a smoking baby.

"Does it still count as a party if you didn't get p*ssed and throw up in the ficus plant?"

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'I hope you kept the receipt.'

"We don't have a battle cry to get the employees revved up, but it's amazing how productive people can be when you get them doughnuts every Wednesday."

Might Versus Right.

Exempli Gratia.

"The usual, Bernie."

"Who needs therapists?!"

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

Happy Hour at Harry's

Trouble at med school - "Gosh, it's already my third day and I'm still sober."

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

"It keeps you awake because it takes 5 hours to finish drinking it."

Parking Meters at Tables in a Cafe

'. . . Sorry guys, we've stopped serving - have you come far?'

"I think Fred is doing more than growing exotic plants!"

'Well, to think that our boss is lovely, that we're selling useful things and that our job is satisfying isn't a corporate identity thing. It's an alcohol thing.'