Toast Perfectionist T-Shirts

"In a perfect world your toast would be done just right. But we don't live in a perfect world, do we?"

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

"That's it. We’re toast."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

You're the puff in my pastry!

Picking pastries.

Under pressure.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Beers

Champagne

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

Baking

Toast: the high energy food

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"I'd like to toast our guests."

Prosecco

Pope tarts.

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

'How would you like your toast?'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

Cheers

'Toast'

Cookery Lesson.

A giant glass of red wine

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

'Mom, what setting do you use for warming up slippers?'

Prosecco