Tissue Technician T-Shirts

"Puffiness and dark circles under the eyes, sniffles, trouble sleeping, rashes...you don't have allergies...you have children."

The Computer Bore

Jack of all trades

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

'Well, well, well...'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

Early cyborg.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

The Not-So Smart Meter

Congratulations on your retirement!

Cat Scan

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"I'm afraid your Apple goggles aren't compatible with your X brain implant."

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

Battery Lighthouse

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

Fixing the TV.

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

"Darn it, lost another swab."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'Still no improvement? Nurse, attach more gizmos.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'