Tiny Troopers' Doctor Pillows

"You can always tell the pediatricians."

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

'Does this get me a purple heart?'

Kids Playing Doctor.

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

Child Brings Teddy Bear to Vet

Doc's Kid.

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

'Let's play alternative health provider.'

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

"Well, there's nothing wrong with his lungs anyway."

'He's our team doctor, athletic trainer, chiropractor and psychiatrist all rolled in one.'

NHS application system: 'Let me in! I'm a Junior Doctor!'

"It's cooties."

'Reflexes normal.'

"Well, you can tell that David Silva that I said you definitely don't have cooties, Carolyn."

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

"Because of your age, I'm going to recommend doing nothing."

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

'Sweetheart, Danny can't come home right now... I'll take a look at your doll baby this evening then probably schedule some tests.'

'If you're so easily grossed out, why did you go to medical school?'

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."

"Bad news. The press got a hold of your kindergarten paste eating scandal."

'Chronic fatigue.'

"I have inoculation issues."

"Yes, hello. I'm hoping you've found a cure for my hiccups...but I'm not holding my breath!"

"Open Wide and say, 'aaaaa-men'!"

'Higgins, control yourself and sit down!'

'I purchased this for my daughter. After reading about the effect of the healthcare law on the practice of medicine, I want to return it.'

The older you get, the younger they get.

"You DO have health insurance, I assume!"

Doll Hospital: All insurance plans accepted.

Player Status.