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Eavesdropping on the ant world. . .

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Mou...Man trap!

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

The USA...

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

'Must you be so judgemental?'

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

"Do you swear you haven't embroidered the truth in your testimony today?"

Law 'N' Order

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'