Tiny Diagnostician Gifts

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

Jr. cloning kit

Today we learned to count to one.

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

Kids Playing Doctor.

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

Junior Doctor.

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

Baby using model construction system to retrieve jam.

Doc's Kid.

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

Kid learning alphabet on computer say ABCDVD...

"It's important to learn numbers. Then you can have a pin number and get money from ATMs."

Junior Doctor and Junior Insurance Salesman

'Reflexes normal.'

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

"But if you don't learn your letters and numbers, how do you ever expect to come up with a strong password?"

"Because of your age, I'm going to recommend doing nothing."

'It's very realistic, Katie. It comes equipped with plenty of redtape!'

Kid with blocks spells out Qwerty keyboard.

'...I just get nervous about opening up and talking about it.'

'I'll only be using it as a night light.'

'I purchased this for my daughter. After reading about the effect of the healthcare law on the practice of medicine, I want to return it.'

'What would happen if we hired two private detectives to follow each other?'