Tint Fanatic T-Shirts

"Kinda wimpy. But...with tinted windows...and 18-inch luxury chrome wheels...and a spoiler! Totally guy!"

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

Dolphin friendly tuna

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

No jay walking.

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

Child hooking into a television

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

Sober Tooth Tiger

'Happy now?'

Joseph and his coat

"From downtown...the shark scores!"

Man admires his Cubist Painting.

'I love us when we're tan.'

"You have perhaps only. . . six hundred months to live!!!"

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

'How now, brown cow?'

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

Tuna Surprise $4.95. You have to admit - he's pretty surprising!

Printers

'Time for another trip down to Anchorage — we're all out of breath mints.'

"Well, all the qualifications are here; 'sit', 'stay', 'roll over', 'beg'…."

One giant bark for dogkind.

Eggs portrayed in different art media.

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

Reigning Cats and Dogs

After this embarrassing incident, the woman who lived in a shoe finally checked herself into odor-eaters anonymous.

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."