Tint Fanatic Pillows

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

Dolphin friendly tuna

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

I know you're bored but you better not be doing that rain dance again!

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

No jay walking.

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

Child hooking into a television

Sober Tooth Tiger

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

Man admires his Cubist Painting.

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

'I love us when we're tan.'

"You have perhaps only. . . six hundred months to live!!!"

Joseph and his coat

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

Printers

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

Reigning Cats and Dogs

Eggs portrayed in different art media.

One giant bark for dogkind.

"Well, all the qualifications are here; 'sit', 'stay', 'roll over', 'beg'…."

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

After this embarrassing incident, the woman who lived in a shoe finally checked herself into odor-eaters anonymous.

'Time for another trip down to Anchorage — we're all out of breath mints.'

"I didn't know you liked ranch so much."