Paint Fanatic Pillows

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

Klimt Kiss Phones

"Too much concealer?"

Face painting by numbers.

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Perhaps in my next life I'll be a jpeg."

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

The Best Art Teacher in the World.

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Abstract expressionist face painting.

Joseph and his coat

A Christmas tree self portrait

Exhibition of Paint Colors.

"My method of painting is pointillism."

Man admires his Cubist Painting.

Hazards of mouse painting

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

Monet in the '90s.

Artist Retrospective.

'Is my make-up O.K.?'

Printers

Eugene Delacroix

Alberto Giacometti.

'Makeup? This is a tattoo.'

Eggs portrayed in different art media.

Modigliani's Giraffe

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

Queuing for a Turner, Whistle, Monet exhibition in the rain - 'Atmospheric, isn't it?'

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

'This one's called 'unpaid electric bills'.'