Timequake Theorist Gifts

When a nanosecond is forever.

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'Who was there to hear the Big Bang?'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'

"I always forget. Is this the day we spin ahead one hour?"

"And from Newton's second law on rigid bodies it can be shown that force equals mass times acceleration...I'll show you."

That was either an earth tremor or the economy moved up a gear.

"Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Poll: The World Will End With: Nuclear War, Global Warming, Assault Weapons.

'Time? Time's relative.'

Above a fisherman a flying saucer hovers dangling a worm on a hook.

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

"Ramses II was here."

'The End is Near' and 'There's No End In Sight.'

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

'Half past zen.'

"I took your advice and went on a strict month-long diet, but I only lost 30 days."

Astronomers argue theories of the Universe.

"Do you think they'll move the Doomsday Clock forward?"

"The end is near!" "That's true!"

'Great news honey. I got that job with the highway department!'

Professor Yomp inserts ecology into his economic formula: "We're doomed!"

'Have you got the time?'

Assisted suicide.