Time Travel Theorist Gifts

Time Machine Assassination Squad

"Ramses II was here."

'They've come up with something called 'Daylight Saving Time,' and I'm darned if I can understand it.'

"Dad, how does Santa Claus visit all the children in the world in one night?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

The Missing Sock Returns

Second hand furniture.

E=mc2.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Ideas Ahead of their Time

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Early model of baggage claim"

Time for vacation, time for work.

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Danger Slow Sand.

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."