Timequake Theorist Prints

When a nanosecond is forever.

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

"Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock."

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'

"I always forget. Is this the day we spin ahead one hour?"

"And from Newton's second law on rigid bodies it can be shown that force equals mass times acceleration...I'll show you."

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

That was either an earth tremor or the economy moved up a gear.

'Who was there to hear the Big Bang?'

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Poll: The World Will End With: Nuclear War, Global Warming, Assault Weapons.

Stephen Hawking: Pale Blue Dot

'...And the precise value of the Hubble constant is critical to the question of whether out universe will continue to expand forever, or...'

"Ramses II was here."

Above a fisherman a flying saucer hovers dangling a worm on a hook.

'Time? Time's relative.'

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

'The End is Near' and 'There's No End In Sight.'

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

'Half past zen.'

10/03/17 14:03

"I took your advice and went on a strict month-long diet, but I only lost 30 days."

Astronomers argue theories of the Universe.

"Do you think they'll move the Doomsday Clock forward?"

Earthquake Research Society. The meeting's over already? Yep --- it was called to order at 8:00 and adjourned at 8:02 by a motion from the floor.

'Have you got the time?'

Assisted suicide.

"The end is near!" "That's true!"

Time Machine Assassination Squad

Big B: implode...explode.