Space-time Theorist Gifts

If time is money, why the hell isn't space money?

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

"Can that be right?"

Coronavirus

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

"Shall we put it in play?"

"What, then, is theorigin of cosmology? Some say it has always been with us and always will be. Some think it arrived spontaneously, while others feel it started very small and is expanding..."

'Look at him out there... so cold, so distant. Why do I always fall for the bad boys?'

Eviction Notice for Earth...

"Since I got out here, it seems my mind is like it's in a vacuum."

"Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock."

'The big bang theory of creation.'

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'

"Kind of makes you realize how insignificant my awesome beard is."

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

"I always forget. Is this the day we spin ahead one hour?"

I've realized something: It's likely that there's only one way for mankind to reach the stars in our lifetimes. Do tell. Scientists believe we'll be able to upload our minds in just 30 years. That means NASA could upload everyone's mind to a robot, and launch it into space. We wouldn't need life support. We wouldn't be affected by radiation or anything. We could even sleep for the 100 years or so it took to get to the nearest star. Then that robot could build more robots and download our minds t

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

Planets in solar system form a New World Order.

When a nanosecond is forever.

'I've overcome my fears of personal mortality and the indifference of the Universe, but I'm still a little worried about those skip-tracers.'

'I know just how you feel. Sometimes I think I'm living on the wrong planet too.'

Well, we found intelligent life, but we still haven't found ethical life.

"...and at the edge of the universe it says 'Abandon hope, all ye who look beyond here'."

The moon used to be a ghostly, unreachable companion in the night sky. Men and women would gaze at it at night, and its mystery would get them in the mood for lovin'. House of Java . Net Cybercafe. Then NASA had to go louse it all up by sending people there. It took decades of us giving up and abandoning the moon for it to start to seem untouchable again. Just last year, it finally regained its magic ... Then China went and landed on it. I still don't think you can sue China.

"Wow, it almost makes me feel as insignificant as an unpaid internship."

'...And the precise value of the Hubble constant is critical to the question of whether out universe will continue to expand forever, or...'

'Looking into the vastness of space makes me realize how insignificant you are.'

Time-Space Convergence Ahead

Man in a desert looks up to see a sand timer sprinkling sand below.

'It's so beautiful, yet fragile. Safe, yet vulnerable. More precious than any star in the heavens.'

Above a fisherman a flying saucer hovers dangling a worm on a hook.