Timepiece Tamer Gifts

Stopping the Cuckoo Clock.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

"Lovely dovetail."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Parenting Business Deals

Monday around 9PM.

New Swiss Army Knife

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

"Most projects require three hands."

'It's come to my attention that you're becoming a bit of a clock watcher.'

Childhood Screen Addict

'You have appointments lined up right until you leave for vacation in 2008.'

"My schedule is just nuts."

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"You goo-goo, you gaa-gaa. But when push comes to shove, you whaa-whaa."

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.

Superhero training.

Either one of us is pregnant, or he's lost his watch again!

"My turn."

'I purchased this great book on time management but, with my schedule, I can't find the time to read it.'

"Edgar, you've been retired for three years now. Why don't you loosen your tie?"

'His name is Ralph, but he'll only come to you if you shout 'biscuit'.'

'What do you mean, you were here first?'