Time Traveler Of Life Gifts

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

"Meet the scribe"

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

Time Machine Collision

Time for vacation, time for work.

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Sundial Time

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Early model of baggage claim"

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Danger Slow Sand.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'