Time Traveler Humorist Pillows

Three-Martini science

'After all this time we've finally apprehended the suspect, sir!'

"Believe me, nobody's going to care you had facial hair a hundred million years from today."

'You know, King Richard here hasn't paid for his parking space since 1485. Who do I send the bill to?'

'Blimey,Doris - haven't the kids grown in FOUR weeks!'

"Excuse me is this early for Tuesday or late for Monday?"

"Richelieu, Voltaire, Napoleon...no wonder you know so much about these people. I'm sure you met them personally!"

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

Transylvanian backpackers.

Physician tending a mummy.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

'Ã…w, gee whiz, Mom -- all the other kids have velociraptors!'

Steve found himself on his travels.

Biliard Enthusiast