Time-traveling Satirist Pillows

Physician tending a mummy.

'Cannonball!'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

COWMIKAZES

The little engine that delegated

The camouflage in vietnam was more comfortable

'Secondhand smoke.'

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

'Ã…w, gee whiz, Mom -- all the other kids have velociraptors!'

"You have arrived at your destination."

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

"Richelieu, Voltaire, Napoleon...no wonder you know so much about these people. I'm sure you met them personally!"

Titanic iceberg auction

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

'Welcome to 'Business class'...'

First Speeding Fine.

You're Employment has been terminated -Smiley face lol

"Well, they did say half-board."

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

"Believe me, nobody's going to care you had facial hair a hundred million years from today."

Sunset Romance

"Nothing about selling inside trade secrets?"

Y2K Solutions Inc.

"He needs his five-a-day."

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

Tortoise is snail taxi.

'Have you done any stand-up?'

"Who wants to talk to Santa? Anyone? Hello?"

'Hunting, gathering.... It's so hard to prioritize!'