Time Traveler (always Late) Gifts

"If Mr. Jackel ever gets here, ask him about this award for always being late at his last job."

'Sorry I'm late - My alarm must have gone off while I was asleep.'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

"We're following Carrot Top."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

'That's about it so far, Son.'

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Sundial Time

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Early model of baggage claim"

Time for vacation, time for work.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"I don't know who you are!"

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

The power of now