Time Skeptics T-Shirts

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock."

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'

"Dad, can you read?"

Bad Influence of TV

"You wanted to miss the Matisse show."

'I don't think Charlie will ever get used to these auto-mobiles.'

Rare Book Store: Telephone Directories

'Time? Time's relative.'

'...but I'm already working as slow as I can.'

'This is Thompson, he'll be getting your tea department online and working on it's global brand.'

"The news you are about to see is fictitious and is shown merely for its sensational content."

' 'cock-a-doodle-doo' out of whack!'

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

"I miss expense accounts."

'…dial tone…dial tone…dial tone…'

"I took your advice and went on a strict month-long diet, but I only lost 30 days."

'Half past zen.'

'He's a very good doctor, and I trust him, but I must confess that I always double check his diagnosis on Google.'

'The doctor from 'daytime television' said I've got gall stones, but I thought I'd better come to you for a second opinion.'

"I wonder if we could allow women a greater role in religion other than as sacrifices?"

"It means this show has been dumbed down to the level of people who couldn't pour water out of a boot, even if the instructions were printed on the heel."

Assisted suicide.

'Have you got the time?'

Fish in a bowl counting time.