Time-crunched Chef Pillows

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'Come and get it!'

Quartet of chefs.

Cook in the cookery section.

I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

TV Chef Cooking Range

'..and one for the pot.'

'Try slicing the bread, Brian!'

Pizza Carried Off On A Stick Like A Wild Animal

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

'It's her signature dish.'

"I was in a different place then."

"I like that you all brought enthusiasm, but did anyone bring food?"

"She can't take any constructive criticism."

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

"So if I replace all the ingredients with sand I should be okay."

"Should you add more pepper?"

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"If anyone asks, I didn't hear about the big beef recall."

'Regardez - even le grand Escoffier cries quand il slices les onions.'

"Oh man. Tia Carmen's making that soup with all those weird vegetables."

Recipes From The "I Really, REALLY Hate To Cook" Cookbook

'What choice do we have? She knows too much.'

Boil in the Bag - Candlelit Dinner for Two.

'Oh, she's not a witch or anything -- she just served leftover turkey five days in a row.'

Some especially annoying types of packaging.

'You are LATE! Your dinner's being cremated in the oven!'

"Management wants a word with you."

'Here's to the frozen food aisles at the supermarket!'