Timber Tinkerer Gifts

Joys of D.I.Y.

Woodwork

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

Painting the Ceiling

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Early cyborg.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Sale! Weed Whackers

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

Gadget geek.

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

The Not-So Smart Meter

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Bicycle sat nav.

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'