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A hand reaches frantically out a trailer bathroom door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away and down the aisle.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

The Life of Pi

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Well, I finished my summer reading list – now what?

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Day one, post grad

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

"You are here"

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

Women who Read Too Much

"You might have time left for one more book, but only if it doesn't require and lot of research."

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

Books 'n' Carrots

Dog Book Club

While playing fetch, Beasle inadvertently set back interplanetary relations for millennia.

Meet Zelda Wisteria, author of the book 'Leap, and the Net will Appear!'

Number Phobia.

'Let's cut out the mumbo jumbo and get to the nitty gritty.'

"I assumed it was writer's block but as I've never written anything I could be wrong."

"... Now, turn left and go in a straight line for 60 trillion miles."

Writer's Block Next 10 Miles

"They always forget the hyphen. . ."

"It's about the world's smartest girl, her caring father, her fun-loving great aunt and her annoying, car-obsessed big brother."

Book Igloo

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

Welcome to the Hothouse Writer's Colony.