Tidal Chart Reader Gifts

"Dammit, Louie! Can't you read a @$% tide chart!?"

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Chicken soup for the sole.

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

"I knew I shouldn't of let you organise our beach wedding!"

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

Business Outlook

NHS/Private Eye Care.

Financial chart with frowny and smiley faces.

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

'Here, here and here the copier was jammed...'

'And this is the day we put too much coffee in the cappuccino machine.'

Sales down - Blood pressure up.

Pie chart of pub conversations

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

High tide.

"The bottom line is that we're going out on our bottoms!"

'This is where we hired Felder. All those in favor of going back in time and not hiring Felder...'

Sea Rise Beach: Enter At Own Risk.

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

"And this is where, to use a technical term, 'things went to shit.'"

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

"It was around here we felt the force of el nino."

'I'd like to see us start making a little more of this money, up here.'

'Just remember. . . work harder, work smarter and more importantly, you may have to work for less.'

"I need the saw again."

"This better be high tide."

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

"OK, that was the ebb tide. Now we wait for the neap tide."

'There has to be a wee bit more to tidal power than THAT, Andy.'

"I don't have the specifics yet, but my protractor shows your portfolio is up 8 degrees."

'And their financial E.K.G. shows that they are in excellent health.'

I can explain what happened to your investment with this chart.