Ticket Dodger Pillows

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

Dozens of parking tickets under windscreen wipers. Woman passenger says: 'It might be time to give the windscreen a wipe.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'I don't suppose you're just writing me a Valentine?'

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Cheer up, Mr. Laping. It's only until the fishing season is over.'

Double-glazing salesman's spiel sends household to sleep.

"Do you have a moment to be late for something you just made up?"

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity.'

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

"Slammed the door in your face, huh? Guess she really meant that NO SOLICITORS sign!"

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

"Yoo-hoo! My husband gets the senior-citizen discount! Yoo-hoo, Officer, yoo-hoo!"

"It's weird... My boss has a freaky way of seeing through my excuses. It's like a sick sense."

"He lost his Season Ticket."

"I can't wait that long."

"Tell me about online banking again. I'm not good at technology, but it's got to be less stressful than this."

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

"Do you know how many followers I've got?"

The mid-state region's salesman of the year avoid another traffic ticket.

'It's not fair. You have classes and pep talks on selling and I have to resist all on my own.'

Senior Prelate's Rail-Card

'Just give me everything you've got.'

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

'Gentlemen, this deal offers some spectacular opportunities for us to miss, and miss them we shall.'

Sorry out of numbers.

'Do you have specials terms for students?'

"An office job would drive me crazy!...sitting at a desk all day!"