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Opposable Thumbs

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

Future Wrestler

'Checkmate!'

Book on Thumb Twiddling

"We've resolved the fundamental problems. Now we're down to personal issues."

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

'It says on your resume, the reason for dismissal from your last employer was the sleeper hold.'

"Their lawyer found out that I enjoy reading poetry, and that I also like to watch professional wrestling. They're calling it a conflict of interests."

'Lois, you have got to stop going to the gym. I don't think we can afford it!'

"I think we need to be more careful not to over-schedule appointments."

'I learned everything I need to know about negotiating from watching professional wrestling.'

"You both know the rules, no kicking, no biting, no gouging, and no mushy stuff"

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

Oliver Reed-Twist: 'I'll arm wrestle you for some more.'

"Three falls, a knockout, a submission, or a note from your mother...."

WWE Chess

News of the Day - The Future: The wrestler who is really masked

Strange Wrestling

To determine whose house they would spend Christmas at, Mark and Barb had their parents hold a tandem wrestling match.

"I now declare a thumb war."

'Type the following as fast as you can!'

'I'm glad you turned off the T.V.. I was worried you were going to spend your whole retirement watching pro wrestling.'

Follow me on Twiddle my thumbs.

You stink at Halo 5. I have no thumbs!

'You can't call it a fluke after forty-three wins.'

'Tell the Nielsen people I'm channel hopping, and let it go at that.'

'Cool! Thanks to our opposable thumbs, we can send SMS messages...'

'Yuk! Whose idea was it to let Dad choose the entertainment for his birthday?'

A painter paints his thumb, not the nude model in front of him.

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

'Very impressive. If we ever need an arm wrestler, we'll be sure to give you a call.'

"Don't text so fast! At this rate, you'll need your thumbs retread."

I worry that your camp concentrates too much on soccer. I'm ok, mom. Really. Specializing is bad for your joints and muscles. Chill, mom. I'm cross-training. Oh. I have very well-conditioned thumbs.