Thrifty Decorator Pillows

'I save 50 cents a roll by getting paper towels with no design on them and then drawing on my own designs.'

"The new trees were too expensive, but I got a sweet deal on this used one!"

The man who decorated his living room with wallpaper sample books.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Filet minion

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"I love these old decorations!"

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"Can that be right?"

Yard Sale

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Pinata Trophies

Face Painting.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

The Hammer

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'Davinia! Your Feng Shui person's here.'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables