Thriftiness Humorist Pillows

Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap. 'He's talking about you, you know.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"C'mere, space heater."

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"Uh, Dad, I appreciate the 'walkin' around money,' but I need 'walkin' around New York City money.'"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

Corporate Head to others at meeting: 'Today is financial Arbor Day. We're going to find some worthwhile charity and plant a money tree.'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

"Let's save this gift wrap. I'm sure we can use it again. Remind me not forget about using this next year."

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

"Sure, we saved a lot of money, but in hindsight we probably should've seen the surgeon instead of the magician."

'Any annuity we can afford wouldn't pay the MILK BILL!'

"I don't get it. Dad wants to cut the household budget? How do we do that?"

"An ounce of prevention." "This way we don't need to raise as much."

'Don't spend it all at once.'