Thriftiness Expert Pillows

Bob didn't have much disposable income. But somehow he still managed to throw away a little each week.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"I just..."

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

Crap others threw out

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

'It's time for the annual wage review...' (Sign on the wall says 'Remember money isn't everything!')

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

Electricity Bills

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

How To Cut The Defense Budget

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"C'mere, space heater."

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."