Thriftiness Enthusiast Pillows

'A word in your ear about the 'value for money' fleet cars you ordered...'

'Instead of a bonus, Samson, here's an autographed copy of my book, 'The Seven Habits of Highly Stingy People'.'

Today, we introduce a new feature: Now That's Cheap. ™ We give customers used plastic utensils. We'll wash them after every use. This spoon's got a hole in it.

'It's easy to be thrifty, if you're broke.'

'I'm back early from lunch.' - 'I suppose it was your round.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"I just..."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

Crap others threw out

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

Electricity Bills

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.