Thrift Enthusiasts Pillows

"Managing further cuts to tight budgets is a challenge! So this training will give you a pratical insight into how to 'maximise returns from limited resources'!"

Budget Recliner

"Just water? - Oh, one of THOSE people."

'Yes, this is romantic, but that's not why I chose this. Gas prices are up, and i can't afford dinner, movie and gas for my car.'

Back by popular demand, our new regular feature: Now That's Cheap. ™ In today's episode: Free financing. Buy a ham sandwich and pay nothing down and no financing for two weeks. Hmm. And after that? 25 percent interest for two years. or we sue. No that's cheap.

Thrift: Have a face-lift, and keep the old face.

First dates are the worst. You get all dolled up - and for what?

Thrift: Save water and paper - reduce lavatory visits to once a week.

Street vendors

Second hand furniture.

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"I just..."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

Crap others threw out

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'It's time for the annual wage review...' (Sign on the wall says 'Remember money isn't everything!')

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

House sale.

Electricity Bills

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

'I thought you wanted a clothes dryer.'

Thrift: instead of 1 tap for hot water and 1 tap for cold, 1 tap for warm water.

Extreme Yard Sale

'He has no romance. For special occasions, he gives me a coupon for a card and chocolates that will be 50% off the next day.'

"There's another one! Pull over!"

"I only drink on special occasions. Like when some body else is buying."

Just Smoke and Mirrors - Gifts For the Easily Distracted.

Second hand store: 'LEFTOVERS AGAIN!'