Thought-provoking Cartoon Fan Gifts

Why do supermarkets make sick people walk to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while the healthy ones can buy their cigarettes at the front?

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

Social Distancing Club

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"Since global warming the Abominable Snowman is much less frightening than he used to be."

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

"Do you do much walking?"

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

'Steve says that he doesn't understand why the liberals are so glum! They already have a majority.'

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

Santa's Helpers

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

'It's one of the candidates for baptism. Wants to know if he can hold the hand that shook Elvis's hand above the water.'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

"I don't know how to tell you this, but it looks like you have a brain the size of a walnut."

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

IRS: The country is broke, but your taxes cannot be construed as 'Charity to the Poor'.

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"You may have heard some very slanderous rumours about this company."

"You finished with your peanuts?"

"You don't see much in the way of rioting and looting when an unarmed white man is killed by the police."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'Is it urgent?'

"You'll go far...you think like a man..."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'