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Thor's Other Tools

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"It is we."

He looks so natural lying there...

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Tim Burton

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

Thomas Cranmer

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

Grim's Fairytales

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"For goddness' sake, Poe - let the bird in so we can all get some sleep!"

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

Have Horns Venn

"Can any of us truly see ourselves?"

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

'It's a reinterpretation of the 'Christmas Carol'...but with a 'Vampire vs Werewolf' contemporary take on the story.'

'You're the king now. It's time to put the past behind you.'

Edmund Spenser

Zombie Zin: The Red of the Dead

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."

Olympic Sabbath Torch.

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

'Whatever it is you're doing down there, Malcolm, I think it's affecting the television.'

Dracula's bedtime.

Executioner with golf bag full of axes

"It's from Henry VIII, sire. He's going to be in town and wants to know where the best hook-up spots are."

'He is not my pet...he is my son!'

Robert Smith - The Cure.

"I'm failing 16th century British History, so now I have to get a Tudor."