Thinker Humor Gifts

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Zenemies.

"Is all this confusion and complexity necessary?"

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

"I don't think of it as copying from Danny's paper ... I think of it as utilizing the Freedom of Information Act."

This will really mess with their minds someday.

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

"What if it's smarter than us?"

Human meat.

Meds Toast

Illogic Tree

The Procrastinator

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

Questionmark Hits Man on the Head

'Dear editor, today I saw the first cuckold of spring...' (Divorce Lawyer).

August Comte

Man walking his pet crocodile and a cross section of both brains is visible.

No Action Comics

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'I'm worried that my crippling anxiety is going to shorten my life.'

The thinker Easter egg

"Who's Next ?"

It's hard to get a grip on reality these days because more than ever "reality" is a very slippery concept.