Therapy Trekker Pillows

"He fears vulnerability."

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Couples' therapy

Pet a Puppy

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'We have three minutes left.'

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I hate Mondays.'

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven