Therapy Adventurer Pillows

Of course you're depressed, I'm very expensive.

'Gee, doc, I never thought creative therapy would be like this.'

'Because I recently furthered my education...I can take you back to your childhood for real, Mrs. Dunlap.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Licensed Therapist

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Couples' therapy

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'We have three minutes left.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

'I hate Mondays.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.