Therapy Insights Fan Pillows

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

"This week we're going to try some regression therapy."

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'This wasn't quite what I had in mind when you suggested 'alternative medicine''

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

Laughter Therapy.

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

"Let's just get through the first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

Men and Women's changing rooms

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

"Try taking baby steps."